Makes sense now.

So what did I do wrong? I thought for 2 long hours as I fought off cramping and an overwhelming desire to just quit.

1. Undertrained.
I just didn’t get out on the bike enough. I was hoping that my swim fitness would carry me through. I was wrong.
2. Nutrition
In the month leading up to the race I ate and drank freely. It caught up to me when I couldn’t control my body temp. Wrap an engine in insulation then redline it. It won’t run for long. I didn’t eat well in the week leading up to the race and I skipped a meal the day before. That just doesn’t work. To top it off I gave race day nutrition no thought. During Ironman I had it nailed. All it took was 15 minutes of planning.
3. Hydration
Probably the nail in the coffin. I hydrated all week then on Saturday I let it go a little. I walked into this race on half a tank and paid for it. If I stayed hydrated and kept up on the salt tabs I would have likely finished the run around 1:35.
4. Focus
I had none. Haven’t been able to focus on training since Ironman was done. I have forced a lot of workouts, cut a lot short, and skipped more than I want to admit. I had no focus because I thought 70.3 wasn’t a challenge anymore. Hell, I did 3 and an Olympic in a month in 2008.
5. Arrogance
This is the one that is the hardest to admit but, I have to. I know it. Everyone knows it. I thought I was better than I am today. I’m not saying that I’m not good, I’m just saying that if you put the time in you don’t get the reward. What’s it worth to you? I didn’t even take the time to double check my bike. I spent the entire 56 miles in the big ring and cramped hard for it.
6. Life.
Sounds bad, but I let life get in the way. I let stress at work curb my workouts. I didn’t even try to make up a workout when I got delayed at home. That would never happen in the past.
7. Calling my shots.
To me this is one of the biggest offenders. It pretty much takes everything and wraps it up into one big faux pas. I told family and friends where I was going to be and when. My shots are not unrealistic. I just pissed off the Spirit of Triathlon by thinking I was the one in control. I was afraid that everyone would miss me going by. It happened in IMKY and it made for a lonely day. Well, not my problem anymore. You’ll see me when I’m done. All day Sunday I would look at my watch and as soon as I got a little off time it began a downward spiral which inevitably ended in pain.
So there you have it. I know where I went wrong. In all reality it’s about time. I’ve set a new PR in every single race I’ve run in the last 4 yrs. I was feeling invincible. I’ll say this. No matter how bad it hurt or how bad the cramping was. It sucked that my blisters were ripping open on my feet. It sucked that I puked out my nose and that’s all I could smell. When I ran that last 400 to the finish and I was feeling this ball in my throat my thought was here comes more puke. It was different though. This was the worst pain I have ever felt. It was the realization that I had failed. I let it happen. I wasn’t strong enough to stop it. I let everyone down. I could imagine my parents sitting by the athlete tracker in disappointment. I could see my wife and kids standing there thinking what a waste. I posted a link on Facebook to track me. Everyone could be sitting there watching me crumble. That there was my hardest day of triathlon.
Today my race T sits folded on my dresser. It will stay there until I deserve it. It’s only a t-shirt but, I don’t care. I shouldn’t wear something I didn’t earn. I gave my hat to my 6 yr old. He deserved it just for being there. The finisher medal hangs right above my bed. The next time I go to roll over to sleep a little more I will know it’s there and it will serve as a reminder of how that day felt. I have a race poster at home. It is going up in place of my IMKY poster. I will print my splits out and hang it there in the hall. Every time I pass it I will feel that sinking in my chest. I am an athlete like everyone else. I am not special, I am no better than the guy who always says “I was training for a sprint but, I got injured”. There is no what if’s today. There is only what happened. I WAS in 3rd until I blew up. That means nothing.
The next step. Simple. Never forget what has happened. Man, has this put things into focus for me. This isn’t tough. There’s only trained and untrained. What am I going to say after my next race? Do you know how fast I’ll go? Me neither. I won’t even speculate. Train hard. Train smart. Show up on race day knowing that you did everything you could to get here. Be grateful that you have these abilities and give thanks before the gun goes off. I guarantee a good day.