snap crackle pop...uhoh.

So what’s on tap for tonight coach?
400’s? Sounds good. Can’t wait to try these spikes out. Coming off a rest week I just needed a change. 3 week burnout ya’ know.
………
So 4x400’s go by. I’m pacing 62-70 seconds decending. I’m feeling great. Then we start the 300’s. I’m running around 45 seconds confortably. Rounding the last turn of the 3rd 300 I pick it up a bit. My mantra, thumbs up stay on your toes…suddenly I must have kicked up a rock or something. I even heard hit my calf. Damn, this burns. Maybe some asshole shot me with a pellet gun. Really, this hurts. WTF. Then as if I just turned the switch off I was done. I stood there on the side of the track thinking to myself. I know what this. I can’t believe it. I just ruptured my achilles…
Pain like this is new to me. I can’t put weight on the leg and I’m already feeling real down on myself. I just threw away a whole season. Sure, I’ll swim more and win that stuff but, what’s the challege in that. I was running faster than I ever have in my life. It was going to add up to monsterous season.
Good news. Just a torn calf muscle no surgery but, I have a long road ahead. I have some good takeaways. Recently I’ve been going through a lot of depression/anxiety about triathlon. I want to do it but, I don’t want to makes others sacrafice for me. I know I have this ability I haven’t even tapped yet but, again, I’m afraid my goals are selfish. As I lie there awake lastnight in bed it occurs to me. I’m taking the fun out of my own hobby. The best part about me last year is that I was training for fun not a goal. This injury puts me back in that boat. Pressures off. Back to having fun. Who cares if I break 10 hrs in an IM? Won’t happen if I’m not having fun. Last year in KY. I hit a 10:09. I also smiled that whole race. So what I’m saying, I brought negativity into my training by tainting my fun with setting goals. There’s a lot going onin my life right. More than there’s ever been. So let it be, let it lie where it lies. As long as I walk away from everything I do knowI put it all out there. The thought that my triathlon days were over really scared the shit out of me. The love is there.
Sometimes you just need a good ass kicking to put yourself back in its place.